Aftermath

It have been about 1 wk after that "hell of a wk". Things have been mostly been settled down and now i am preparing for my exams, but one thing have been haunting me is her. Sometimes i can't stop thinking about her. Probably i can't let her go.

I have been doing a lot of thinking these days, wondering wat to do after my exams. i have planned a lot of things for her b4 we broke up, but then with her gone, i probably lost my motivation. To tell u honestly, i am not as good as you think, i have my own flaws and my own past. Without her, i lost my motivation to quit smoking.

i thought of the times we were together, the places we went, the things we saw and the things we did. Now it had faded into something we called memories.

I am gonna plan and decide what am i going to do next, probably go do some part-time work to buy a new hp. After that close brush with death, i am not going to take things for granted again.

Probably i should do my share of encouraging people, people tag me but i dun tag people, its a unhealthy relationship u noe. Ya i did my share of encouragement but its like once in a blue moon. People always write cards to me but i dun write. I have actually prepared a stack of cards planning to write to linda, but hai~~~ Now the cards are on my desk, laughing at my foolishness and naivety. If u have received a card from me, u better READ it no matter wat!! Cos my handwriting is really like shit, hope u dun mind.

Thoughout that time, other than my "band of brothers". I am really grateful to sheena,alvin,huimin,angel and my leader brother bernard. Sheena, my jiemei, 1st one to know this thing, have really enlightened me about relationships are really not easy to maintain. She told me about her experiences and her own past. Its not easy telling someone ur own past, and she always treated me to good food when i am at my lowest point. Thank you for that!!!! Hope that one day i can help u back in my own way. Alvin, square face, although you are kinda "dumb" sometimes and sometimes lack some "life experience", but i am grateful that you are always there when i needed someone to talk to although ur mum keeps asking u to hang up hehe. I think in the future you will become a good leader, BUT!!, u gonna learn how to be more smart!! hehe But thank goodness u dun haf to face the same trials that i faced, for that i am glad enough. Huimin, minmin, although u are just 15 but sometimes i feel like you are 20, mature with a childlike touch on it. Always encouraged me thru my tagboard and cards. Although i can't be there for u sometimes, although i sometimes misses ur "low point", but i am glad that u will still encourage me and pushes me on. Thanks... Angel..,auntie hehe, Thanks for that sms u sent me, it was a very kind gesture and i am kinda touched. Although sometimes i make a fool out of you, but i am happy to have u as a friend. And lastly the award goes to...................(drumroll) Brother Bernard!!! Although 60% bald at the age of 26, but have the wisdom of a 50 yr old. What can i say.... Always dishes out advice when i needed(athough sometimes i dun heed it though hehehe). Always been there for me when i needed it, taught me that life is not fate or some shit destiny crap, its the choices that we make. I think that u are really wise, and taught me many things. Taught me that relationships are actually not as simple as i thought, the trick to maintain a relationship. When i was robbed that day, treated me to breakfast and told me that he is just glad i came back alive. Always laugh quietly when i am making digs at his hair hehe(promise to do less of it in the future hehe). He is the rare breed of people that i truly respect. Never "psycho" me to do anything, just through simple encouragement. Although i hate to admit it, but i think deep down in heart i see him as my father(although mine own pops popped several years ago). I have neber tasted much love in my life, i grew up with a hardened heart and was hateful and always thought "lao tian" is always playing me out. But yet he opened a new world and opened my eyes to see that actually there is light at the end of the tunnel. Been always there for me when i got into trouble. Thank God for you..... and u guys too.....