Life is Cruel

Right now i am in a very very sad mood. Last tuesday, i told a girl who i liked very much that i liked her and you know the "can u be my stead?" question. She smiled and said she will tell me at night so i waited and waited. Then 4 hrs later she run away from home wtf!!!! That answer neber came.

I remember in the morning i went up to her house to talk, i sensed that something was amiss already. I persuaded her not to mix with her current crop of friends and her so-called ''god father'' which i personally knew all of them. i know these bunch of guys will lead her to destruction which inevitably happened. She ran away from home and heavens knew she have gone where. I asked everyone, her crop of friends and her godfather. They all said no. i sensed that her godfather is lying but i did not kick up a big fuss. but then wat to do?

Her mother called me on that day, to tell u honestly i hoped it wasn't true, when i went up to her house and see, her empty room greeted me. Her parents say she took her bag, clothes and some stuff and go out liao. At that time her parents was not around.

I exhausted all my contacts and my mind, trying to find her. Did not sleep properly, frantically finding people to ask hoping for a answer. Last fri, i got hit with fever, flu and "lao sai'', which i realised i was turning into a wreck. On sat and sun, when i went church for ''gift of heaven'' rehearsal, bro larry asked me to smile and act as if i was very happy, to tell u honestly i managed it quite well but after that i felt miserable, can't blame bro larry cos he does not know.

Her parents have called the police and till now no news. I feel sorry for her parents though, after work they will go around singapore to search for their daughter. Toa payoh, orchard, bugis, wah lau eh, i dun tink their bodies can withstand any longer. Jacqueline, if u are reading this, please go back to your parents, i dun care that u accept or reject me but please go home....

i thought these kind of scenarios would only happen on tv shows, but i can't believe that life have given me another big blow when i have just recovered from one. I have picked up the courage to love again but then love have just slipped through my fingers and gone into the wilderness. Probably this is the sign that i shouldn't love anymore. Right now i am hoping for a divine intervention that she will be spot checked by the police or watever lar. Sometimes, i feel that i got played out by God, is it that i don't pray? don't pay tithes? don't put offerings? don't read bible? But out there there are so many people who do that but why is it that i am the only 1 that is subjected to such a cruel blow!! Everytime it juz get worse and worse. Or is it just a script that u have written for me just for ur entertainment purposes?!!

Sorry for the harsh remarks but i am feeling real pissed now